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Step Up's 13th Annual Inspiration Awards

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“I have had eight or nine miscarriages,” Union, 44, writes in the book excerpted exclusively for PEOPLE magazine. “For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant — I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.”

Gabby adds that she’s been undergoing IVF for three years:

“For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?’” she says. “A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause.

Once a month I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated,” she adds. “It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors and anytime I go into a doctor’s office I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate.”