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Women, we love you. We really do, but you don’t always speak our language when it comes to gifts, especially during the Holidays. But we’re here to help.

If you are looking for a guaranteed way to get the best reaction from your man or a guy you’re trying to seal the deal with, here are 10 gifts guaranteed to get your jingle bells rocked.

10. Home-cooked meal.

In an era when ladies have take-out menus on speed dial a woman that can cook is a rare find. So if she makes you a plate be prepared to eat –literally and not so literally. Yes,  when you finish the meal there is a chance you might fall asleep, but when you wake up put on your hard hat with the flashlight cuz it’s time to go to work.

9. Threads

Any item of clothing worth more than $150 qualifies for a tailor-made session.  The $90 polo shirt or the Gucci scarf alone will not do it. But the scarf, hat and belt ensemble means you better break out the good boxer briefs.

8. NBAK13,  Madden 13 or Halo4 on the day it drops.

Point blank, if she stands in line you better stand up in it.  Get a few games out of your system but after you put down the controller put those nimble fingers to good use.  Let the Contra Code (Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right B, A, ) be your guide.

7. New Sneakers on day they drop.  (i.e. Foams, Jordans, Yeezys, etc)

If they glow in the dark you better light her up. Lace up the new kicks and get a running start if you have to but make sure she crosses the finish line before you do.

6. Lap Dance.

If she ponies up for a lap dance for YOU at the club, consider it pre-gaming. So while you watch girls work the pole prepare to work yours. If she makes it rain you MUST bring her to tears.

5. Tech

An iPad ensures a night in your pad. An iMac is a not just the name of the computer, it’s a declaration of her status. If you unwrap these consider yourself unwrapped.

4. Jewelry.

Something you want but wouldn’t buy for yourself. Not the stuff in the back of The Source or off the boulevard.  Jewelry guarantees a pearl necklace.

3.  Knicks Tickets (or the team of his choice).

Extra points  if she doesn’t insist on going to the game with you. But when you come home you better attack the boards and treat her like an All-Star.  Breaking ankles are optional but breaking her back is mandatory.

2. Bills, Bills, Bills:

If she doesn’t live with you and pays a bill, a car note or a student loan, she is entitled to a  no-holds barred weekend  where you have to speak in a British accent and let her call you Idris while you smash. Get your RedBull and Viagra reinforcements if you need ‘em because she owns you for at least 48 hours.

1. Another woman.

If she comes home with another woman don’t even speak, just open your mouth. Accepting this gift the wrong way will ensure you never get it again so thank the hell out of both of ‘em.

This also automatically places her into the potential wifing pool.

Got a gift to add to the list? Hit up MrMecc on Twitter:

10 Christmas Gifts A Woman Can Buy To Make Sure He Stuffs Your Stocking  was originally published on