Blue Ivy Receives Fabulous Gifts From Friends Of Parents, Jay-Z & Beyonce

In 5 short days, it is official that Blue Ivy Carter’s life is and will be way better than ours. Allegedly she has received around $1.5 million in gifts. According to various reports Blue Ivy will eat her meals, and subsequently throw them up, on a $15,000 Swarovski Crystal covered highchair:

After spitting up in a $15,000 high chair there’s no way you could be bathed in anything less than a $5,200 Swarovski crystal baby bathtub:

Once bathed and burped the Carter heiress will then take her naps in her choice of a $1,000 Lucite Vetro Crib:

or if she’s feeling particularly fancy a $26,000 Posh Tots Fantasy Carriage.:

Then when she gets bored, as five day old babies do, she can rock herself, assuming she can support her neck, on a $600,000 solid gold rocking horse Daddy Jay picked up in Japan.:

And honestly I give up on rationalizing why a child would need such extravagant gifts, so I’m gonna chalk the mini Bugatti up to the fact that her parents are Jay-z and Beyonce Knowles and they’ve got it like that.:

Oh yeah, I failed to mention, that Blue also has 3 nurseries in 3 separate homes, in case you were wondering how a single room would accommodate both a lucite crib and a fantasy carriage.

Now, do I actually believe any of this? No. It all seems very Mariah Carey to me (and some of it’s even a stretch for her), but it’s definitely fun to discuss the ridiculousness of it all.