This past Tuesday night I took time out to watch the 2012 Democratic Convention. Ok Admittedly I was flipping back and forth between The DNC and Martin, I couldn’t help it. However, when 10:30 came around I dropped the remote and was glued to the Television as our First Lady came to the stage and delivered a flawless speech. I was completely blown away. She displayed such transparency and spoke with such grace and passion while also illustrating what true love looks like as she gushed about her husband and his work. What an example! What an inspiration!

After she concluded her speech I scrolled through my timeline and news feed to gauge the pulse of the people. The almost universal response was that our First Lady Michelle Obama rocked the house. Another commonality shared by my friends and family via social media was an almost reverential awe in regards to Barack and Michele’s relationship. Men and women alike were actively voicing their desire to experience such sincerity in their love lives and respective relationships. This got me to thinking about ideals.

An ideal is an ultimate object or aim of endeavor, especially one that is of high or noble character. It’s a goal, a standard, a status if you would. The process of discovering YOUR ideal is the first step to getting what you want. So ideally speaking, what does your relationship look like? How about the men you date, what qualities do they possess? As you navigate through the dating pool do you require that these qualities be present or do you relax your standards for the sake of instant gratification? Hard questions but your ability to answer them will determine the probability of you actually getting what you want. Locate your ideal and in doing so possess what you want. It is not enough however to have an ideal. That’s the beginning of the process. As with anything there is work to be done. We must live lives that are in alignment with the ideals we say we have if we are to ever possess them. The owness is on each of us as individuals. Jessie Belle Rittenhouse summed this up perfectly when she wrote:

 bargained with Life for a penny,

And Life would pay no more,

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store;

For Life is a just employer,

He gives you what you ask,

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have willingly paid.

May we live the lives we dream of and may we experience a love that provokes us to be better than who we presently are. Cheers to the journey. Date Responsibly.

Always With You in Mind,

Kevin Carr

You can stay connected with me and also purchase my newly released book! If All Men Are Dogs, Then Women You Hold the Leash at

Also  lets talk via Twitter!  @Kev_Carr

5 Relationship Pitfalls We Must Avoid [Original]

How to Win The Dating Game: Men Respond to Standards

How To Win The Dating Game: 3 Ways To Figure Out His Motives

Also On WRNB 100.3 Philly: