Domestic Violence is never OK. With that said, what we do and how we conduct ourselves in our relationships affect not only us but the world around us. Our kids, our culture and our future are all impacted by the quality of our relationships. This brings us to the couple of the “moment” Chad & Evelyn. What really happened this past month can only be answered by those two individuals. All we can do is read the police report, look at the headlines and speculate.

What cannot be denied is that this situation is unfortunate to say the least. Chad has been cut from the Miami Dolphins, his wife of six weeks has not only filed for divorce but is pressing charges against him as well. Their reality show has been canceled leaving both of them unemployed at the present time. However unfortunate all of this may be, this could have been avoided. It’s easy to discuss how “messy” all of this is but we would be remiss if we didn’t take the time to focus on what created this mess in the first place. In looking at their relationship there are numerous missteps that could be highlighted, and they should be. If we are to have quality relationships here are Five Relationship Pitfalls We Must Avoid:

Also Check Out: 7 Things to Avoid When Trying To Impress Him

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They Are Who We Thought They Were

Don’t be fooled by the myth that relationships or in this case marriage changes people. We must realize that our respective mindsets, and learned behaviors follow us into new relationships. People don’t leave their luggage at home. Whatever traits we embody, whether it be of a violent nature, infidelity, or low moral value, if not confronted and dealt with before hand we bring these characteristics with us into our relationships and likewise for our partners.

Made For TV

Love is a deep personal commitment between two individuals. The more influences we allow to affect that commitment the harder it is for us to maintain it. When something is real there is no need to draw extra attention towards it. The popular saying consistently proves true; real recognizes real.

Social Media

While the majority of us aren’t getting paid to produce reality TV, we chose to treat Twitter and Facebook like VH1 broadcasting every detail of our relationships. If we genuinely want our relationships to work we must learn to communicate with each other and leave the “noesy neighbors” out of it. That change of relationship status on face book and the #IMSINGLE tweet just opens up the door for discord to be sown in your relationship. Not to mention it will attract a few extra stalkers.

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls

Focus on love and let the benefits that accompany it come naturally. When we focus solely on the possible benefits, i.e. money, prestige, etc. we fail to plunge beneath the surface which is where true love makes its abode.

A House Built on Sand

Love is built on truth, honesty and sincerity; it is forged in those private moments only you and your partner are privy to. Any two individuals who have successfully maintained a quality relationship over a significant period of time will testify to the importance of having built a proper foundation. That foundation is personal as it is built by two people with the same goal, intent and commitment. It’s work and it’s a process but it’s worth it when done right. Don’t allow the world so much leverage that it has say-so over your heart.

With you in mind,

Kevin Carr

You can stay connected with me and also purchase my newly released book! If All Men Are Dogs, Then Women You Hold the Leash at

Also  lets talk via Twitter!  @Kev_Carr

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