Our Chat and Chew topic for today was “are there any understandable reasons for the person you’re dating not to invite you to Thanksgiving dinner?” Please feel free to post your comments to the question HERE on this post, but I thought you would like to hear the comments of a fellow blogger. Check out this article and see if you agree with the authors point of view…
By Jaime Richards posted Nov 16th 2011 7:23PM (Posted to YourTango.com)
5 Questions to ask yourself before you invite him to Thanksgiving Dinner with your family.
The Holiday Season is upon us, and it really makes us start to think seriously about the state of our new relationship. There’s never one good answer to the quandry about including your new boyfriend in family and holiday festivities, because we live in a time that is filled with alternative situations. Hopefully, I can cover a few of them here, and help you make a reasonable decision about whether or not you should include a new boyfriend in family Thanksgiving traditions.
1. How Long Have You Been Dating? Has it been 1 month, or 9? The shorter the time period you’ve been dating, the more likely it is that you’ll have a different guest at next year’s family dinner. So, consider whether or not this is going to make things hard on you, him, and your family.
2. How committed are you? If one or both of you is dating other people, the automatic answer is no. Don’t choose one of your boyfriends to invite to dinner. Go yourself and keep the mystery and competition among your men alive.
3. Is he really serious about you? Ask yourself that question (honestly) before you decide whether or not you should subject your family, and him, to such a meeting. If he’s opened every area of his life to you in a short time, and also made it clear that you’re exclusive, time spent dating is less important. If you’re not sure, err on the side of just spending the day with you and your family.
4. How formal is your family? If your family is very non-traditional and open, you shouldn’t be sweating this decision. Leave it open to him, and know with comfort, that it will be fine either way.
5. What’s your life stage? The younger you are, the longer the dating time is required to request major holiday family time from your man. Chances are, if you’re in your 20’s, he has a family Thanksgiving to attend to. Expect and respect that. If you’ve been dating over a year, then it’s time to consider an invite. If you’re in a life stage where you’re ready to get married and so is he, than an invitation to meet your family could be expected.
Whatever you decide, remember that if you’re together forever, there will be many Thanksgivings to come, and what happens this year, probably won’t “make” it, but it could “break” it! If you want questions about your specific situation answered, ask a question on the contact page of my website for my “Ask Jaime” newsletter.
No matter what, be grateful that you have someone to consider asking to Thanksgiving Dinner with you!