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You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?

Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I am a 24-year old mother of one. Due to how the economy is, I lost my job a little over a year ago. So, in order to save up some money I moved back in with my mom. I’m not like some people who live with their parents. I don’t freeload. I buy groceries every month for the house and I give my mom money to pay all the utility bills and the cable and any extra she asks for that goes to any extra bills that may come up.

Now, on to why I’m writing you. In the household there is me, my baby, my mom, my grandma, and an uncle who is 61-years old, and getting on my damn nerves!!! My uncle spent most of his life in and out of jail. Every time he got out, he came back to my mom’s just to “F” up and go right back in. I guess the last time he had an epiphany and decided he wanted to do right. This was in 2007. When he was released he was only suppose to be staying in my mom’s house for a short period of time until he landed on his feet. It is now 2011 and he hasn’t went anywhere.

He never attempted to get a job. He doesn’t help around the house or contribute in any type of way. All he does is eat sleep and talk on his cell phone, that one of his friends was stupid enough to buy him!!! Me, and my mom are starting to get beyond fed up. I think my grandma is too, but she hasn’t really said anything. I am tired of him so much so that I find myself having to bite my tongue to keep from cussing him out. I’m a very outspoken person so doing that is very hard for me! Every single day he finds away to piss us off and I don’t know what to do anymore. I won’t be able to move again until the end of the year, and I definitely don’t think I can bite my tongue for that long. So, please help and let me know what we should do about our situation for our sanity and to keep me from hurting him. LOL – Ticking Time Bomb

“I Don’t Have One, But Three Men To Choose From. What Do I Do?”

Dear Ms. Ticking Time Bomb,

Girl, girl, girl! I know how you feel. A grown ass man living with his sister, momma, niece, and grand-niece. Are y’all Mexicans? That is too many damn people living in one house. And, he is the only man in the house? Oh, yeah, better you than me. I wouldn’t have a problem telling that bum to pack his –ish and get the hell out. As a matter of fact, I would have been packed his –ish and put him out. Chile, I wish I might!

But, let’s reassess the situation. He’s a man who’s been in and out of prison. SMDH! Your mother, which is his sister, allows him to stay in her home. Uhm, the truth of the matter, sweetie, is that your mom and grandma are co-dependants of his. They keep babying him, and holding his hand. Chile, boo! For real, for real they need to cut that umbilical cord and put that negro out! The man is 61-years old. COME THE F**K ON! Put his old ass out! However, they won’t because I’m sure he is used to being babied and coddled by his sister and mother. Look at the repetitive cycle. Every time he goes to jail, where does he go? Exactly! Right to your mother and his mother. They let him in with the hopes he will get it together, because like most families, and black families in particular, they hate to see a brother down and out. Chile, miss me! Tell that negro to kick rocks with his Gladiator sandals. They are going to have to stop breast feeding him and tell him to man up! He’s 61-years old!!!!

And, who the hell bought him a cell phone? That “MF” needs their ass beat. How are you going to buy a grown-ass-non-working-ain’t-got-nothing-lazy-trifling-good-for-nothing-bum a cell phone? What the hell he got to talk about? Who the hell is he calling? Girl, he needs to be calling places of employment, and rooming houses for a place to live. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!

Look, Ms. Ticking Time Bomb, unfortunately there is nothing you can do. It’s not your house. It’s your mom’s home. If you say something to him, it will cause a riff and huge argument and he will throw it up in your face that, like him, you are living in the house as well. Despite the fact that you contribute and go above and beyond, he doesn’t see the situation from your vantage point. He is the victim. He doesn’t see anything wrong with what he is doing. And, that’s like trying to get a drug-addict to admit they are a drug-addict, or any of these women who write in to me asking for advice but don’t see their contribution to the matter. They are the victims. Your mom and grandma are going to have to step to him and say something. Your mom is going to have to put her foot down and say, “Look, it’s time for you to go. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, but today. I want you out of my house, NOW!” Until then, here is the plan, and it’s a devious plan. LMBAO! Stop buying groceries for the house. Instead, lock your food up in your room, your mom’s room, and grandma’s room. Empty the refrigerator and clean it out!! Do you hear me? Clean that M*****RF****R. Stop feeding his big ass. And, stop paying the bills and let the lights get turned off. Oh, yeah, turn the cable off, too. LMBAO! Yeah, that will get him. Trust me, I bet his Black ass will bounce then. Or, better yet, the next time he leaves, pack his –ish and put it outside. Change the locks on the door, and leave his ass outside. However, I’m curious as to where the men are in your family? Why haven’t you, and your mom, expressed to them what’s going on and how you want your uncle out of the house? Tell them to come over and remove him, and I mean if it comes to fist-to-cuffs then let them handle it. Chile, I still don’t get why this senior citizen who ain’t got nothing is freeloading off his family? Yeah, your mother is a good one. But, in the meantime, you need to be saving your coins and hurry up and move the hell up out of that situation before you catch a case. Chile, I don’t want any letters from you from the ____________ Correctional Facility. And, I ain’t accepting no collect calls. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

How many of you have allowed someone to live with you and they didn’t contribute to the household, and you wanted them out of your house?

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!

Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

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