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You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?

Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

So, I met this guy online. Well, I knew him before but we haven’t seen each other is years. Well, we started talking. A few months after meeting again online we started a relationship. In my eyes he was perfect. He wanted to wait to have sex, he always called me beautiful, did anything for me, wrote me poems, anything a girl could ask for. He ended up moving in with me, and that’s when the boat sank.

He worked night shift so I would be home by myself. He was constantly asking me who came over, what I did, and who I talked to. I could see the warning signs of intense jealousy, but he had so many good qualities I over looked it. But I should have listened to Ms. Hilson when she said “Jealousy is the ugliest trait,” but I didn’t.

Well, as time went on jealousy turned into anger, which turned into obsession. I can say, however, he never put his hands on me, but I guess that’s called emotional abuse. I had to turn him loose. Well, that was back in September 2010. Unfortunately he is not out of my life. He ended up getting in some trouble and is now out on bail. I was close to his parents so they kept me updated. Well, he took that the wrong way and thought I was “in love” with him again.

When you fall in love with someone, that love never goes away but it does “dwindle” per se. I care for him and I would never wish jail on anybody. But he won’t leave me alone. I blocked him on Facebook, so he gets a Twitter and follows me on there. I change my number, somehow he finds it. He gets on other peoples Facebook just to look at my status.

I am currently talking to someone, but he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with me because of my ex. He says he doesn’t have time for the drama. Which I completely understand, but I can’t get rid of my ex! Any suggestions?!?! – I Messed Up

“I’m A Big Girl In Love With A Young Man & He Treats Me Like Crap”

Dear Ms. I Messed Up,

SMDH! You don’t know how he got your number, he just somehow finds it. Uhm, is it lost and on a piece of paper on the ground? Really, Ms. Thing? Really! You’re going to do this with me today. He won’t leave you alone, although you say you’ve done everything to get rid of him. Yet, you state, and I’m quoting YOU, “I was close to his parents so they kept me updated.” And, “When you fall in love with someone, that love never goes away but it does dwindle per se.” LMBAO! Girl, you silly.

If his parents are keeping you updated of his whereabouts and goings on, i.e., his recent jail and bail out, then how do you think he gets your number and knows what’s going on with you? I’ll wait. No, I will because you want to play dumb with me. So, I’m going to let you be dumb.  I mean, if you’re communicating with his parents, (Hold up. You hear that? Those are the crickets). I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Honey, it’s obvious you don’t want him out of your life. If you really want him gone, then cut the parents off too. Yes, they have got to go. BUH-BYE!

Chile, you women play too many games, and I don’t have time for children’s games.

Girl, spare me and yourself. You’re still in love with that fool. You like the attention. You really think you fell in love with him, don’t you? LMBAO! Someone please make it stop! This poor chile has lost her rabbit ass mind.

He is not going to go away because you entertain him and his foolishness. Stop being so damn passive and get the fool out of your life if you want him gone. Stop calling his parents, and tell them to stop calling you. Block their number. Block his emails. Block the hell out of him. And, you know you can make your Tweets private, so whoever sends you a request to follow you, you have to approve them. But, then again, you knew that. I’ll continue to let you play dumb.

Darling, sweetheart, the man introduced himself and you saw who he was when your fast ass let him move in with you, and you wanted to play house. Of course he’s going to ask who you were talking too, who came over, and what you did. He worked the night shift. That is prime booty call hours. If he was accusing you of doing something and making fierce allegations, then guess what, the guilty has spoken. (Slams down the gavel) Chile, only someone who is insecure, and guilty of doing something themselves will be that damn possessive and obsessive. But, I truly don’t understand why you moved the man in your house. I mean come on, you moved a man into your house that you met online? Where they do that at? I don’t care if you knew him before, chile, you hadn’t seen the man in years. You didn’t know anything about him. I don’t get this, “I met a guy, fell in love, gave him keys to my house, and then he changed,” routine.

Look, Ms. I Messed Up, you say you don’t wish jail on anyone, so what happens when he shows up at your house and he punches you in the face? What happens when he kicks in your door and ram sacks your home because another guy is there? No, don’t wish jail on anyone, say I pray you go to jail! I really want you to go! He deserves to be locked up. The man is a STALKER. He won’t leave you alone. So, it’s time that you document everything he is doing. Write down the dates, times, and how often he is checking in on you. Take pictures of the pages he’s created to follow you on Twitter. Gather as much evidence as you can and take it to the police. Yes, you can get a restraining order on someone who is stalking you on the internet. Girl, you women better learn the law. If you don’t do anything, guess what, he will continue to harass you and any potential man that comes into your life. And, honey, I don’t blame any guy you meet who says he doesn’t want the drama. Nobody wants to put up with the bull-ish from some crazy ass ex. No one knows what he’s capable of doing. And, don’t you dare say, “He won’t do anything to me. He loves me.” I will personally punch you in the face and call the police and tell them I did it and why. And, you know what? They won’t even lock me up. They probably will tell me to do it again so they can witness it and say, “Good for you!” – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

How many of you had to deal with an ‘ex’ who was obsessed with you and what did you do to get them to go away?

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!

Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

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